Suffering from SSF

SSF is a growing problem.  I believe that this year it will reach epidemic proportions.  There are no shots to prevent it and only one cure.  Yes, SSF  affects millions of people all over the world, every year.  But we never see commericals about fantastic new drugs, with frightening side effects,  that have been developed to treat the disease. No, like the common cold, people suffer in silence.
It has hit my household very hard this year. 
SSF, more commonly referred to as Severe Spring Fever, is in fact somewhat treatable. 
You can see the masses searching for relief from the terrible symptoms at such places like Home Depot, Menards, Lowe's and other home and garden stores.  You can spot the sufferers in places like Walmart, by their shuffling feet, vacant eyes, searching over and over for things that just aren't out on the shelves yet.
Symptoms will vary from person to person and in some cases can be quite severe.  
Symptoms include, but are not limited to;
Constantly looking out of the windows to see if the snow has all melted yet.
Frantic searching of Internet sites looking at "spring" projects.
Drawing up plans for landscaping projects or gardens.
Searching through seed and bulb catalogs, going through stashes of seeds on hand and putting them in the order that you plan to plant them.
Strange urges to pick up accumulated dog crap in your yard the first day it hits 50 degrees (I think that is about 10 Celsius). 
Making unnecessary trips outside.
Wanting to turn off the heat and open the windows.
Planning trips to above mentioned home and garden stores with the intent to look at seeds, bulbs, plants and fencing.
There are just too many symptoms to mention, but beware, this dreadful condition can strike at any time, without notice. 
While the symptoms in adults are in most cases, fairly benign, they can be devastating in children.
It seems to cause destructive behavior, even violence.  It is believed that these symptoms such as breaking an unusually large amount of household items by children are best treated by sending the offending small people outside so they won't tear the house down. This is exactly what this diabolical disease wants!  But it is alot safer than leaving the affected children inside to wreak havoc on yet another unsuspecting piece of furniture.  
SSF can also affect pets.  Most notably dogs.  It can cause them to run about the house at top speed and crash into things, usually small children who don't move fast enough to take cover. They also have been know to leap hysterically from one piece of furniture to another, all while running as fast as they can.  
It can be a dangerous time, when SSF has presented itself in your home.  So here are some helpful tips, that may help keep you safe and sane.
Just get out the mud boots, dress the children in old clothes and kick them and the crazy manic dog outside.  Make frequent trips to home depot, menards and lowe's.  Go to Walmart at least once a week and wander around in the garden center.  Ask everyone you see when they are going to put the gardening stuff out.
The symptoms are however, short lived.  By mid-June all symptoms in the US should have passed.  To be followed by WDSSS (When Does School Starts Syndrome). 
So Best of luck making it though SSF season.  I'll be at Home Depot :)